She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
