Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
