she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
