it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
