No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
