OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
