Don't you send me to vm
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
