At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
3 2 1 whiskey
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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