He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
