Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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