Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I have feelings that need drinking.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
