Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
