Barsexuality is the new black.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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