I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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