? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
