a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
why is half of my head shaved?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
