a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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