That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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