I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
