I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
