i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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