plz talk dirty to me
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
