some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
