Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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