I'm drive I can fine osifer
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize
