Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
