my sisters under your porch take her home
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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