I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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