i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
