So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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