I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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