Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
