Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
