Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
