Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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