Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I think a kid would responsible me up
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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