someone threw a dead crab at me
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
