Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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