listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
you would pick up someone in the library
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
