My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
