I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
