when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
