just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
