it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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