I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
