I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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