how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
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