someone get that fucking seahorse.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Small penises have feelings too.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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