Are we in a gay sports bar?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
