i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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