then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
