She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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