i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
